This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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