so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
