good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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