i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
