I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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