i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
