Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
