I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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