and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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