My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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