Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
