I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
