I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I love having hate sex.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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