why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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