We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
