i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize