Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
