Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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