He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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