i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
this will be a night to untag.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
