hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
