Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
