Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
3pm strippers are depressing
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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