i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
