If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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