My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My boob is missing a layer of skin
whose parrot is this?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
