Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
