Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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