just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
