Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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