umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
