All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
