i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
