You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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