Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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