do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
