we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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