Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
