First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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