I CAN MOONWALK!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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