What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
