I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
