As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
