i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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