i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
