fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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