it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
