We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Randomize
