she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
