I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
